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FUNNY SPORTS SATIRE
ISIAH THOMAS'S TORTURE OF EX KNICKS ASSISTANT CONTINUES As if firing him wasn't enough, Isiah Thomas, the Knicks president, is now accused of raiding veteran assistant coach Dick Helm's personal bank account and using the proceeds to fund his son's private school education in Indiana.
Thomas immediately denied the report, but added, "Something like that could not possibly have happened without my knowledge." "My life savings were in that account," said Helm, from an undisclosed abuse shelter. "Isiah drained every penny of it. Why? Why is he trying to ruin my life?" Thomas could think of no rational motive, other than, "I had Dick's 4-digit pin number, and thought the cash might be convenient?" Helm said Wachovia security cameras had caught Thomas withdrawing money from a New York City ATM machine. "He was right there, cool as a cucumber, in a turquoise suit." Thomas drained the rest of Helm's account with a check from Helm's personal checkbook. "He was asked [by the teller] who he was, and he said, 'Dick Helm,'" said Helm. |
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In his defense, Thomas said, "Think how impetuous,
passive-aggressive and sociopathic you'd have to be to do something
like that? C'mon, guys, is that me?" Helm also said Thomas had been calling his home late at night and making threatening phone-calls. Thomas called that allegation "absurd," but admitted "no phone calls are made from my house late at night without my direct involvement." Lennie Wilkins, the Knicks' head coach, was said privately to be outraged by Thomas's treatment of his longtime, loyal assistant, but said publicly, "It's no secret Dick's been washed-up and a bit paranoid. I support Isiah one-hundred percent. It was time for Dick to go and now it's time he moved on with his life." |
We would like to thank Steve Becker, editor and writer of the " Becker Sports Report" for permission to reprint this article.
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