|
FUNNY SPORTS SATIRE
KNICK'S CLEAR HOUSTON TO PLAY, HE DECLINES. Nov. 17th, Madison Square Garden--Allan Houston, the Knicks guard, has been cleared to play by team doctors, doctors across the nation, and in Europe and Asia as well,
"It's tough for a warrior like me to take this position," Houston said. "You want to play so badly, you want to have your teammates' back, but you also want to make sure the timing's right." Knicks officials, taking the high road and clearly intent on keeping their tone constructive, called Houston "a malingering hypochondriac." Houston retorted, "You see me in my designer suits, looking incredibly handsome and smooth on the sidelines, and you think that's easy? You think I wouldn't chop my left arm off to lose that suit, get in my Knicks' uniform, and go out on the court and scrap with my teammates?" |
Home. About Us. FAQ's. Timeline. Tools.
Articles. |
| "I've played
injured all my life," Houston implored. "Christ, I played most of my
senior year at college with a splinter in my shooting thumb. Nobody
writes about that. All they write about is how I wouldn't let the
trainer go near me with the needle. You know what, I'm done
defending myself." Houston was scheduled to see a doctor in Bangladesh, but team officials now say the appointment is off. Reportedly, the doctor canceled the appointment, saying he was over-booked with scheduled amputations. Houston said he'll continue to rest the knee and, barring a setback, plans a return sometime next year, if not the year after. "When I come back, I wanna come back strong," he said. "Not with doubts." "We'll take him back, sure," said Isiah Thomas, the Knicks' president. "That's if there's even still a Knicks franchise when he decides to return. Or, if any of us is even still alive. Or, if the terrorists haven't already taken over the entire world." |
We would like to thank Steve Becker, editor and writer of the " Becker Sports Report" for permission to reprint this article.
Baseball I
Basketball I
Board And Card Games I
Cardio Respiratory Fitness
I
College Sports
Camps I
Diet and Sport
FAFSA-Financial Aid Application I
Fitness Training I
Fencing I
Field Hockey I
Football I
Golf
I
Gym Training I
Sports Helmets
Hockey I
Lacrosse I
Lose Weight I NAIA
Conferences I
NCAA DI Conferences
I
NCAA DII
Conferences I
NCAA DIII Conferences
NCAA Emerging Sports I
NCAA Games Rosters
I
Quit Smoking I
Rowing I
Running I
Scholarship News I
Sports Shoes I
Soccer
Softball I
Sports Clothing I Sports Medicine I Sports Training I
Steroids I
Swimming I
Tennis I
Volleyball I
Weight Training
Wrestling
|
|
© College
Sports Scholarships
Contact the Webmaster
Some people find that back pain continues to return despite their best efforts to exercise regularly and practice good body mechanics.
Walking is still the nation's most popular activity. Walking and hiking require a minimum investment. You can do it inside or out, in any climate or weather -- any time.
Many people enjoy vigorous exercise but it needs to be noted that the amount and intensity of exercise required to produce stress-management benefits does not need to be overwhelming.