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FUNNY SPORTS SATIRE barbaro belmont stakes
horse cleared to race
The great Barbaro, against his veterinarian's advice, will run in the
grueling Belmont Stakes, Saturday, after James Andrews, MD, the
ubiquitous sports orthopedist, examined him and cleared him to compete.
Barbaro, through his publicist, praised his vet, Dean Richardson, DVM (who reiterated that "Barbaro is by no means out of the woods") but added that "Dr. Andrews is world-renowned, and confident my [shattered] leg can tolerate the race." Barbaro consulted with his trainer, jockey, and owners, all of whom are discouraging his participation. "I know, I know," he said. "I'm probably being stupid, but I'm doing it." |
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Andrews examined x-rays of Barbaro prior to clearing him; later, he realized the x-rays were not of Barbaro, but "of Carlos Beltran's hamstring tear." Andrews immediately contacted Barbaro's handlers to append a qualification to his clearance, based on the mix-up. "He's still 'down' with Barbaro running, he just can't offer his unconditional support," said a contact in Andrews' office. Andrews occasionally "makes these mistakes," the source explained, partly because he performs "several hundred surgeries a day." |
Barbaro said that the Belmont comes along once in a horse's lifetime, and that, besides, he could probably win it with his injured leg "tied behind my back."
He also said he realized people are "sick of having human language attributed to horses," but that "I couldn't help but speak out and clarify my position."
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Herrion's death "leaves a giant
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though we projected him as a backup, we needed that big, fat fella."
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