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FUNNY SPORTS STORIES AND ARTICLES FACE TRANSPLANT FOR BUD SELIG
Baseball
Commissioner Bud Selig's application for a face-transplant was
unanimously approved by a committee of surgeons, who agreed "it is in
the best interests of baseball, and the rest of us, to replace Bud's
face."
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Selig may have lucked out. Sources say that Mitch Plaigner, of
Milwaukee, an avid Milwaukee Brewers fan, stipulated in his will
that, upon his death, Selig, if he wanted it, should have his face,
science-allowing. Fortuitously, Plaigner was badly injured in a car accident last week and clings to life with little hope of recovery, said doctors at Milwaukee Regional Hospital. "The kid's in terrible shape," said trauma surgeon, Al Solenberg. "He's moribund." Selig is said to be praying actively that "the kid dies," an associate disclosed. "He likes the kid's face, and wants it." The new face, doctors have told Selig, will last about 10 years, meaning Selig could be looking at more surgery down the road. "That's a good chunk of time," he said. "That's a bridge we'll cross later." |
Behind the scenes, Selig is said to be looking into the "rights" to the
"young man's penis," an inquiry, sources say, which is in an early and
informal stage.
"One step at a time," Selig said cautiously. "That's what AA taught me."
We would like to thank Steve Becker, editor and writer of the " Becker Sports Report" for permission to reprint this article.
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