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A BOY IN A GIRL'S WORLD BY KYLE RAY, HORSEHEADS HIGH SCHOOL NEW YORK
As I stepped on to the court to participate in another match of Girl's Volleyball, echoes carried across the enclosed gymnasium. Chants of hurtful words that left bruises on my self-confidence - "Faggot! Cheater!" -
could be heard throughout the hour-long athletic confrontations. Through a series of nerve-racking meetings and never-ending conversations with Athletic Directors and past teachers, it was an honor to have the chance to play the sport I loved at my own public high school. However, having a fear of being in the limelight, the final decision to play on a team made entirely of girls was based on how much I loved the sport of volleyball. For me, it was an opportunity of a lifetime. For my opponents, it was the complete opposite.
Looking through the net in the direction of the girls who had
to look at a boy on the other team, I could sense the tension that was going
to make for such a great game. For some of the players I competed against,
their efforts to play at the top of their game were obvious: continuous
attacks towards my face, repetitive short serves in my direction, and other
uninterrupted attempts at forcing out my weaknesses. For the other players,
I was a reason to become nervous. In their eyes, I was a boy who could jump
higher, move faster, and hit harder. Their nerves were palpable in the
atmosphere. |
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I took it easy on most teams, but as the season progressed and the competition got tougher, it was time for me to step up my game. Smarter plays, tougher serves, and perpetual sweating showed my improvement as both a player and as a person. Although the criticism got worse as we got closer to reaching the New York State Final Four, my teammates, my coach, and myself all worked together to push through the struggles we faced. Enduring such negative critique from players and parents, not only in my slowly growing community, but throughout the state, I forced myself to hold my head high as I stepped onto each opponent’s court and played the sport I was there to play: Volleyball. I did not enter each gymnasium in a different manner. For each, I walked in - single file, led by the team captains - and set my bag down on the bleachers waiting for the Junior Varsity match to get underway. Sitting with the team, constantly being asked to fold the jerseys in a specific manner, and waiting for our chance to play, I uninterruptedly forgot my nerves and focused on the game. I was there to perform - to make our talented and highly-respected coach look good. It was, or so I believed, my job to do the best I possibly could. I could not let myself falter; and when I did, I shook it off and got ready for the next play. |
Though making mistakes is part of volleyball, along with life itself, I am not satisfied with the slightest failure afflicted upon myself by myself. I do the best I can to make myself appear a strong and ruthless athlete - when I am on the court - and student - when I am in the classroom. At times, it is easy. But in other circumstances, it comes across as difficult and terrifying.
Throughout my season on the Girl's Varsity Volleyball team at Horseheads High School, in Western New York, I pushed and worked to become the better player that all of my teammates saw within me. I worked twice as hard at practices and played to the best of my abilities each game. Facing a new foe was a scary subject within our loosely knit circle of friendship on the team. With several different cliques, each holding a few players, it was up to me to try to mend the holes in our "family." Though we played as a whole, it was barely that behind the scenes. With ongoing drama and catty fights between the plentitude of players, nobody could focus as much as we all would have liked to. Due to our lack of concentration, and our never-ending contrasts, we cracked under the pressure of the loud noises, high competition, and ongoing torment within the Glens Falls Civic Center - the site of the New York State Public High School Athletic Association's Girl's Volleyball State Finals. We made it past our nemesis in a stressful, yet exhilarating, Regional match by two points in the fifth set. We took third place in pool play of the State Finals. Missing our chance at taking the State Class AA title by a few points, we bowed our heads in disappointment as we left the volleyball court for the last time of the year.
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